Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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