dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
