There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
