so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
