So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
