made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
