3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
