I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Bring me that man meat
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
