Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
