Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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