Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
