tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
