Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
