scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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