I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
