I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
