her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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