Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize