Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
