hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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