Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
