either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
