this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
