By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
