The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
