Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
