when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
