She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
