I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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