fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
