We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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