All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize