is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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