I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
