oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
