he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
