who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
