Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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