apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
