Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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