At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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