I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
