do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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