The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
