they need to just BURY HIM!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
