He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
