Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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