am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
