my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
