sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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