I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
