chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
