I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize