Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
