God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
