She's JV to your varsity
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
