Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
