We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
