My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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