We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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